Toddlers are fascinating creatures, aren’t they? Watching them develop into thinking, creative little people is such a fascinating time, and one that parents often wish would last a little longer.

Of course, they usually wish that after baby’s grown out of the toddler stage, because along with that creativity and new-found intelligence, we usually see a lot of boundary-testing, which can be a frustrating experience.

When I have my initial consultations with the parents of a toddler, there’s usually some kind of amusing story surrounding bedtime. They’ll tell me, sometimes a little sheepishly, about how their little one gets three or four stories a night, sometimes five, and then they usually ask for a glass of milk that they’ll only drink a few sips of, then they want to say goodnight in a very specific, drawn-out way, and the parents will end up looking at each other wondering how on earth they got to this point.

And it always happens the same way… a little bit at a time.

Toddlers love to test boundaries, and they know that the one thing you want from them at bedtime is for them to go to sleep, so they’ll use that to their advantage. I know it sounds a little diabolical, but it’s their way of seeing where your boundaries lie and how much authority they actually have.

One night they ask for a glass of milk, and the parents think, “What’s the harm?” The next night, they ask for a glass of milk and an extra story. A week later, they want a glass of milk, an extra story, and three hugs and two goodnight kisses. Little by little, these crazy bedtime routines get established, all according to what the toddler wants.

There’s a simple, two step solution to this issue. 

1. Establish a short bedtime routine.
2. Never deviate from it.

That’s it. It’s that simple. I won’t kid you, sticking to the rules can be a challenge, because they’re going to ask, test and complain, but if you stick to your guns, they’ll understand sooner rather than later that the bedtime routine is not up for debate. And when they test you again a couple months down the road (…oh they will…) provide the same responses.

This benefits both of you, in spite of the fact that your little one might not agree. Toddlers take a great amount of comfort in knowing that you, the parent, are firmly in charge and are confident in your decisions. It gives them a sense of security. If you start allowing them to make the decisions, they actually start to feel like they’re in charge, and that feeling that Mom knows what she’s doing starts to fade.

Additionally, a predictable, repetitive bedtime routine is greatly conducive to a good night’s sleep. It signals the brain to start secreting melatonin (and we LOVE melatonin) and signals the body to start relaxing muscles in preparation for a restful, relaxing snooze.

Remember your little human is learning, testing you and retesting you, always. So, at bedtime when your little one asks for one more back rub, one more sip of water…have this in the back of your mind. Before you know it ‘one more’ anything can turn into a VERY lengthy and frustrating bedtime experience. Shoot for bedtime between 7-8pm. Remind yourself that they are smart, cute, wonderfully fascinating little people who are capable of driving you batty with their tactics. God speed to the parents of toddlers 😉

Sleep is the best, let’s get you some!

Amanda Stairs (Your Sleep Boss)

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Meet Amanda

I am a daughter, sister, niece, aunt, registered nurse, wife, mother and now certified pediatric Sleep SenseTM consultant. In that order. These roles have something in common, somewhere they have me helping others. I love it! Life is too short to not help when and where we can. Life may not feel anything but long when you can’t get adequate, restful AND independent sleep. I want to help families discover that being a parent doesn’t have to mean exhaustion…at least it doesn’t have to mean sleep deprivation. Children can learn anything, good or bad. That goes for sleep habits too. Let me help your family develop a healthy relationship with sleep.

This program works! My husband and I have a deep love for Sleep SenseTM as we have two little boys that aren’t quite a year and a half apart. The oldest being two and a half AND they room share. You may think ‘sounds like a nightmare’ but with two boys that were taught how to sleep, life is pretty fantastic! Sleep is the best, let’s get you some.