Kids. We’ve all sighed it at the end of a long day, “Ahhhh. Kids!”

I’ve done it in a frustrated way, or in an amazed moment…  sometimes in an “I can’t believe how much I love them when they’re asleep” kinda tone.  There were times when, for what seemed like years, I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone without some sort of riot or tears happening right outside the door.  There were days when I pushed a stroller all over town reciting “Where the Wild Things Are” off by heart and hoping that they would sleep long enough for me to sit quietly on the back step for 15 minutes when we got back home.

" ... I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone without 
some sort of riot or tears happening right outside the door."

I received tons of ‘helpful’ advice from people with kids, without kids, people who don’t even appear to like them at all.  You should spank him, try time outs, have you done this, that, the other…  You know the good intentioned soliloquies that follow any public incident, or goodness forbid, one of them is three steps ahead and appears to be alone.  More often than not, at the end of the day I felt like a failure of a mama because my kids have…  hmmmm, let’s call it character… and know their own minds.  Lots of times, I was nervous about birthday parties and keeping track of them all, and travelling and trying to get them to sit still.  I was worried all the time that I could be doing something more, something else, that I wasn’t doing something right.

But.

I have always loved them fiercely. 

And if you love your kids, you are always doing something right.  Everything you do, every place you take them, every time out or lack there of – it is your best and that is what’s perfect for them.

I watch my boys now, and despite their busyness over the years – and what seemed like decades of incessant crying from Theo (even though he’s only 4!), and Fred sleeping on top of my head every night until his 3rd birthday – I hope that my love has covered a multitude of mistakes.

"I hope that my love has covered a multitude of mistakes."

I saw Theo sidle up beside his big brother in a crowd not long ago, and Fred reached out and put his arm around him, pulling him in.  I’ve heard from Charlee’s school assistant that her bothers seek her out to have lunch with her pretty regularly.  They both help her and make sure she’s ok, without my asking.  My oldest is about to go to Dubai for a sporting event, he’s so excited – but I’m not sure I can let the baby who cried when I left his line of sight go around the world without me.

They amaze me and I’m so proud of the who these kids are.  They’re not perfect (which was more than solidified in my mind when we were stuck in traffic for 3 hours last night and the youngest tried to bite the oldest where the sun don’t shine, followed by tears and threats and… well, you know the drill!) but they’re mine.  I will always love these little people fiercely, and I hope that that will always be enough.

Chaundra

My name is Chaundra Eagar and I’m a 35 year old mother of 3 wonderful children, one of whom is special needs, and a wife to Matt.  Although we’re native to Fredericton (and still try to spend the summers there to maintain a sense of Canadian-ness in the kids) we’ve been living and working in Kampala, Uganda for nearly 4 years as Matt is a pilot here and the kids attend a British International School.  I generally try to keep my chin up, and deal with whatever life throws at us with a good sense of humour.  I can almost guarantee that our house is full of good natured chaos most of the time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.