Long story short: a few months back, I attended a Fantasia party. It was the type of event where the products being sold were wild, and, as is the case with the right crowd of ladies and the right amount of wine, so was the conversation. Somewhere between one TMI conversation and another, the topic of lingerie came up and it was then that I made a confession: I was wearing a sports bra. And not only was I wearing one, but they were basically all I owned, besides a few grungy ones of the nursing variety. It was at that point that my people turned on me. The other ladies circled their wagons and demanded that I get out there, running, not walking, spruce up my wardrobe and start taking care of me.

Prior to having children, I was famous for being one of those women who swore motherhood would never change me. Sure, I knew about sleepless nights and the need to be a home-body. I understood that my husband and I would no longer be able to be the spontaneous duo we had once been, but I greatly underestimated how much my self-image would change.
I was once a career woman who made a point of treating myself to new things each pay day because, heck, I deserved it. I once had a student ask me if I ever wore something twice because my closet was that full. Yet, here I was three years into motherhood treating my children to brand-name-everything, but most often leaving myself out. Don’t get me wrong- I still own a lot of clothing and dress decently in the name of professionalism, but I certainly don’t treat myself guilt-free. At that party, I realized that I was always putting myself last and had become the “all sacrificing mom” that would have had my eyes rolling not so long ago.

I vowed that evening to start being a bit selfish now and then. I ventured into the “intimates” section of Sears a week later and made a few purchases, without even looking at the tags, and it felt great. On my birthday, I booked a long overdue spa appointment for myself and lounged with some cucumbers on my eyes, feeling more stress-free than I had in a long time. I bought myself a few new shirts.

The good news is that my children survived without me for a few hours and we haven’t fallen into poverty because I bought myself a few things. I’ll never be the free-spirit I once was and will probably continue to spoil my children before myself, but I think it’s really important for moms to remember who they were before having babies, and understand that we have very real needs too. It isn’t about undergarments or having the means to treat yourself to a massage; it’s about realizing the need to take care of ourselves.

I recently read a quote that said, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, and realized that’s exactly what I was trying to do by completely devoting myself to my children and often neglecting myself. My message is to treat yourself now and then, without feeling bad or selfish or unworthy. Your kids would want that for you, so you should want that for you too.

Kayla

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Meet Kayla!

I am the proud mother of two sweet girls: one an independent, chatterbox, and the other an easy-going, happy ball of joy. A book lover through and through, I have followed my passion from a degree in English Lit to a career teaching middle school literacy. I spend my days teaching the proper placement of the comma (amongst other things), my evenings surviving bedtime routines and stealing cuddles, and my nights binge watching reality tv and late-night snacking with my husband, Scott. My obsessions include keeping up with current events, sharing useless facts, watching American politics with a horrified look on my face, travelling and the idea of “tiny homes”.

Likes- eating noodles, planning future vacations and scoring sweet deals while online shopping.

Dislikes- bananas, bigotry and being cold.