When it comes to any form of childbirth, the motto should always be to “expect the unexpected”. Okay, so I shamelessly stole that from the reality show Big Brother, but nothing could be more fitting for the act of bringing a new baby into the world. Childbirth is absolutely magical, but can also be completely unpredictable and often carefully crafted birth plans get thrown out the window.

For me, the unexpected certainly did happen: I expected to be induced, go over term and have an epidural. What did happen was my water broke while watching MTV on my couch at home, while my husband was an hour away at a meeting, a week before my due date, while a crew of men installed a Central Vacuum system in my house. The surprises kept on coming when, three hours later upon arriving at the hospital, a savvy nurse touched my big belly and asked the question, “Have you ever suspected that this baby might be breech?” In fact, I had suspected just that, but my concerns had been brushed aside during every doctor visit. I was quickly put on the list for an emergency C-section- and eventually bumped to the head of the line when Baby C let us know she was a bit of hurry to see the world- and a few short hours later, we were a family of three. Twenty-three months later, we got to do it all over again when Baby 2 was also born in that same operating room.

As a seasoned C-section veteran mama, here are a few things I wish I had known, beyond what’s written on all the medical forms:

1. They’ve got your back. For you, a C-section may be a once in a lifetime event, but for the doctors and nurses tending to you, most procedures are status quo. In fact, for them it’s just another day at the office. They can answer every question you may have and it was a major relief to see how they took everything in stride. My anxiety was kept in check because I felt like we were both in really capable hands.
2. Catheters are a special kind of uncomfortable. Even though I was well aware that having a catheter inserted would be a part of the surgical prep, I was not prepared to feel so uncomfortable and violated by it. It’s a strange sensation and, if you’re like me, it may make you feel out of control for the first while after it’s in place. Like the rest of your lower body, you won’t feel it once anesthetic is in place, but you’ll be glad you have it post-op when the thought of pulling yourself out of bed to get to the bathroom is utterly impossible.
3. Skin to skin is very possible, even while still in the O.R. I had two babies very close together, but in that short time, a lot changed where skin to skin contact is concerned. With my first baby, I had to wait until the recovery room, but when I had my second, I was offered the option of skin-to-skin as soon as they did a quick assessment of her. Truth be told, it was quite awkward and uncomfortable to have a tiny human on my chest while flat on my back with arms out-stretched, but I wouldn’t have passed up the opportunity for the world.
4. Breastfeeding is absolutely possible straight out of surgery. Admittedly, it can be awkward to nurse post C-section when you can’t feel your legs or torso, but being propped up on pillows can help. If breastfeeding is for you, don’t miss out on this incredible bonding experience.
5. You may be really, really hungry and thirsty. I literally couldn’t muster up enough saliva to lick my lips by the end of the procedure, which is apparently a side effect of the drugs, and I hadn’t eaten for hours by the time they wheeled me out of the O.R. I’ve never tasted something more delicious than the orange Popsicle I was given in recovery. Be prepared for this, but know that it’s totally normal.
6. Also totally normal: intense nausea. I don’t know if I can think of many things more frightening than vomiting while having major abdominal surgery, but it happens. I was able to avoid actual vomiting by choosing to mention it to the anesthesiologist, who quickly gave me some sweet goodness in my I.V. that made the world a better place. The terrible sensation returned when they wheeled me into my room on the ward, but they were happy to pause whenever they heard another “oh, God!” The sensation is normal and very temporary, but be aware that it could happen.
7. They have a wonderful selection of drugs and I encourage you to indulge. I’m guilty of trying to be a hero and pretending I don’t need painkillers when in fact I do, but my advice is to take the drugs. No one is going to congratulate you for spending days or weeks in pain when a couple pills could easily make for a much more comfortable experience. Take some at the hospital when you need them, and take a prescription home with you. It’s the best kind of doggie bag and the gift that keeps on giving.
8. A VBAC might be possible…but it might not. In my case, all thoughts of a natural birth were silenced when I was told that due to the trauma of having an extra-large baby removed from an extra small body, I was not a candidate for a VBAC. Being the planner that I am, I was totally fine with this news and liked knowing what the future held in store for me, but to some, this could be pretty devastating news. It could absolutely happen, so be prepared.
9. One thing that really helped keep my mind off the fact that a surgery was taking place just below the blue curtain was talking to the anesthesiologist. He was parked somewhere just beside my head, so he was the perfect person to chat with when conversation dried up with my anxious husband. It may seem odd that my child was brought into the world while I chatted with a strange man about his daughter’s love for synchronized swimming, but the only moments of panic I remember feeling during the whole procedure were in the moments of silence when my mind was left to wander towards worry. Release that inner chatterbox and the experience could be that much more relaxing.
10. People, especially other moms, can be totally judgey when you tell them you had a C-section. Today, this annoying idea exists that only natural unmedicated births are worthy of celebration, but I’m 100% not on-board with this. I prefer to think that every birth is worthy of praise because no matter the method of exit, no birth is easy. What I was totally unprepared for was when I went to a mommy group event and was told by another mom that she “felt sorry for me” because apparently I “missed out on something so amazing”. It was a burn I can still feel to this day and even though I wouldn’t change a single detail about the births of either of my children because they both arrived healthy, I was shocked that the notion existed that somehow one method of birthing is more special or commendable than another. If this happens to you, tell them that scars are cool, and quietly say a prayer for their own children that insensitivity isn’t hereditary, then find a new mommy friend.
11. You’re really not going to feel like yourself after- after all, you just had some pretty major surgery. After my first, I felt great, but off. Your organs take a while to get back into their proper places, so don’t expect to feel 100% normal for quite some time, even if you don’t exactly feel terrible. With my second, I felt much worse. I had trouble navigating the grocery store a week later, without needing to leave after aisle two to take some morphine. Just keep reminding yourself that you’re in recovery for weeks and accept any help you can find. It doesn’t make you week- it makes you smart.
12. C-sections can be utterly amazing. Aside from the fact that their sheer existence has slashed mother and infant mortality rates, this form of childbirth can be just as beautiful as natural birth. I was lucky both times that both of my procedures went smoothly and without complication, and I am being truthful when I say that I actually enjoyed the experience. I talked, laughed and smiled while in the O.R. and once those little girls were in my arms, the way in which they got there couldn’t have been further from my mind. I recognize that not everyone has as pleasant of an experience, but no matter what happens, remember that the goal of pregnancy, the morning sickness, the one million doctor visits, the blood work and the weight gain is to bring a healthy baby into this world. Once the sensation comes back to your lower body and you’re able to sit up unassisted again, give yourself a big pat on the back, Supermom.

About Kayla

I am the proud mother of two sweet girls: one an independent, chatterbox, and the other an easy-going, happy ball of joy. A book lover through and through, I have followed my passion from a degree in English Lit to a career teaching middle school literacy. I spend my days teaching the proper placement of the comma (amongst other things), my evenings surviving bedtime routines and stealing cuddles, and my nights binge watching reality tv and late-night snacking with my husband, Scott. My obsessions include keeping up with current events, sharing useless facts, watching American politics with a horrified look on my face, travelling and the idea of “tiny homes”.

Likes- eating noodles, planning future vacations and scoring sweet deals while online shopping.

Dislikes- bananas, bigotry and being cold.