Sometimes, I wonder if I’m one of those moms that are easy to hate. You know, one of those moms who love Pinterest, party planning and piñata making; the moms who do hot yoga and actually enjoy working out; the moms who pack organic, healthy, made-from-scratch lunches…most days. I guess I am one of those moms. But I don’t do those things to make you feel inadequate, and I don’t do them to drive you crazy. In fact, I don’t do them for you at all. I do them for me. The truth is, I found joy in those things long before I was a parent. And I find even more joy in them now, having little ones to cook, craft and create alongside me.

Here’s the thing: we moms aren’t in competition with one another and we never were. We’re all just doing our thing. Maybe my thing is different than yours…but despite what makes us different, there is just as much that makes us the same. See, I’m also the mom who cries in the bathroom some days when it’s all too much. I’m the mom who can’t seem to get anywhere on time or commit to an appointment more than a week in advance. I’m the mom who is still working on softening my voice when I want to scream. And I’m the mom who is completely invested in being the best parent I can be, and yet, there are days I still fail miserably.

I made a realization early on in this parenting journey – the things that make me feel bad about myself, guilty or inadequate as a parent – well, those things are about me. They aren’t about anyone else and no one makes me feel that way. Admittedly, there are times when I feel I am being judged as a parent, and perhaps I am. But most of the time the person judging me isn’t another mom – it’s me. Because the truth is, no one is harder on us than we are on ourselves. So let’s give each other a break.

I will make you a promise: When I see photos of you mountain climbing with your kids or camping in the middle of God-knows-where, I won’t feel less competent in the cool mom category because you shine in it. When I see you making fondant cakes and decorating cookies like you’re Martha Stewart, I won’t feel bad about my inability to do the same. And when I see you arrive at school on time or (gasp) before the bell rings with four kids in tow, I won’t feel inadequate because I can’t seem to arrive on time with half the number of children. Okay, well maybe I will feel a little less adequate about that last one, but here’s what I won’t do: I won’t put you down to make me feel better.

It’s like that expression, blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter. Other women who shine do not threaten me. In fact, they inspire me. So go ahead, mama — shine brightly! Together, we can light up the sky.

Amy

Hi! I’m Amy Kervin, and I was born and raised in Miramichi, New Brunswick. I am a mama of two, an educator with a BEd from Saint Thomas University, and an advocate for children and the parents who love them. I have experienced what it’s like to be a parent who teaches full-time, stays at home with my children and most recently, works from home – and I can’t decide which is most challenging! I know the way we parent matters, and I have recently channeled that passion into my own website and blog, Love Uncluttered. I strive to live simply, parent gently and connect deeply with my children. I don’t enjoy every moment of parenting, but I find moments of joy in every day. And even on the days it’s really hard, I wouldn’t give this parenting gig up for the world.

Likes: coffee, wine…more wine, yoga, and all things design.

Dislikes: sexism, beige, clutter.